The Sequel - News headlines from the year 2012 - PART II

Back by popular demand: the second part of the News headlines from the year 2012!

Again, let's activate the magic and powerful crystal ball, and see what the near future holds for us (see the video)

And on we go with PART II of the predictions...July to December, 2012.

July

- July 1, Euro 2012 (soccer), Greece makes it to the final but they had to withdraw from the game because the country is so broke, they couldn't afford to provide the players with soccer shoes and uniforms.

- July 6, NBA basketball player Greg Oden (Portland Trail Blazers and former Ohio State University) wins the award for the oldest looking 24 year old man in the world. "On the bright side, I might be able to get an Applebees restaurants Senior Discount Card". His body must be as old as he looks: he hasn't been able to play a complete season yet.

Greg Oden

- July 28, London 2012 Olympic games: Dang Yun, an alleged Chinese female gymnast, is not human. Olympic Officials conducted the appropriate tests and found out that Dang Yun was a cat. "Meow!!" responded Dang Yun to her disqualification. (Just for the record, "meow" is not a Chinese word but kitty cat language).

August

- August 16, Stunner: Google buys Greece at a very low price. Spokesman for Google said: "We wanted to rename the country Google but we had some static from the European Union. Then we settled for writing Greece with the Google fonts". Google Greek headquarters will be located right in the Parthenon. The lobby shall be decorated with a giant harp, a spiral tube slide and robots from the 50's and 60's. The hallways will be full of unicycles (knowing how to ride unicycles is a prerequisite to work there), Pacman and Asteroids arcades.

- August 24, Cirque du Soleil launches a new show in Las Vegas called "Lindsay!". It's a musical and theatrical production. The storyline is the biography of Lindsay Lohan, but played by clowns. The lead character, Low Ann (a.k.a. Lindsay Lohan), is a clumsy clown that tries to survive in Hollywood but has a tendency mess everything up. The stage is a specially built circus ring at the Circus Circus Casino. Clowns of the show perform stunts like DUI's, car accidents, road rages, trying to sing without talent and escaping from rehab centers. Mickey the Goofball clown (a.k.a. Michael Lohan, Lindsay's father) steals the show.

- August 26, Women's Equality Day, George Carlin came back from the dead and makes an HBO Special including this (see the video...mostly for the bit starting 8:15):

September

- September 1, Microsoft buys Italy at a very low price. Italy was having major financial difficulties. Bill Gates declared: "Google has it's own country. We wanted ours." Rumours are that the country will be renamed to Finestre (Windows in Italian).

- September 3, Labour Day, children of the United States continue to go to school after US Congress officially cancelled Summer and blamed Barack Obama for the decision (see my article News headlines from the year 2012 - PART I, posted last January 7, 2012). "If there are any survivors to the end of the world, we are planning on cancelling Christmas. And if Barack Obama is re-elected, we'll blame him for the decision too" confirmed an anonymous US Congressman that started too laugh out loud, just like Vincent Price used to do (see the video).

- September 9, my beloved New England Patriots win their first game of the season...smells like a Super Bowl year!!!!

- September 15, NCAA Football - BCS Championship: the National Championship game will be exclusively for SEC teams. President of the BCS, Jim Norton, announced that the BCS Bowl will always have two opponents from the SEC conference. "There is no point in letting teams from the other 10 conferences and waste everybody's time. And, coincidentally, that will solve the playoffs non-sense controversy" said Norton. From 2006 to this day, the National Championship game was exclusively won by SEC schools: Florida (2006), Louisiana State University (2007), Florida (2008), Alabama (2009), Auburn (2010) and Alabama (2011).

October

- October 11, Apple, Inc. refuses to follow Google and Microsoft. "We won't buy a country. We will build our own country. It shall be called iLand", said CEO Tim Cook. However, it won't be possible to visualize iLand with Flash Player.

- October 31, Halloween night, Bill O'Reilly, host of The O'Reilly Factor, on Fox News channel, tried to disguise himself as Mickey Mouse, scared some children, forced them to take his book The O'Reilly Factor for Kids: A Survival Guide for America's Families (a real book...Google it!) instead of candy, scared them some more, screamed at them and called them socialists, communists and liberal pinheads. "Get me out of this straight jacket" O'Reilly scream as he was escorted by policemen to an undisclosed mental health facility.

Bill O'Reilly Mouse

November

- November 6, The United States presidential election of 2012: the results were so close between Mitt Romney and Barack Obama that the recount of the votes may last until the end of  times...which conveniently is next month.

- November 12, Bravo! channel announces that a new innovative reality show will air next season. The show will be called Roommates: Ex-wives and mistresses. Each ex-wife of the show will have to cohabit for a year with the mistress(es) of her husband. Sharp objects, baseball bats, gasoline and other possible weapons will be available to all the participants. Spoiler alert: one wife and a mistress become a lesbian couple.

December

- December 14, Glenn Beck declares: "I'm not worried about the end of the world. I've been preparing for this all my life. After the apocalypse, my ratings should remain just about the same. And am I glad I invested in gold, Goldline International and foodinsurance.com." (see the video)

- December 20, National Ski Areas Association (NSAA) is furious: the end of the world, scheduled to occur on the first day of winter, will be disastrous for the ski industry. "The government has to compensate us." Others, like Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve, Santa's Little Workshop and major alcoholic beverages companies have already requested government financial aid.

- December 21, D-DAY, the day the world ends...(see video)

- December 22, Walmart announces its first annual Post-End of The World Sale. Always the low price. Always. Almost a month after Black Friday, that new special shopping day shall be called Doomsday. The rules: there are only a few items for sale and people have to fight to grab them.

- December 31, Time Square, New Year's Eve: lowest attendance ever.

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THE HODGEPODGE

This week’s lucky number: The Clue. The starring number of the following video (from 0:21):

Happy and Dandy Clowns of the Week: A Pennsylvania couple. Last week, they claimed, at Maryland Lottery Headquarters, their $128.8 million dollars Powerball prize. They chose to remain anonymous (good for them!!!). It was the second-largest jackpot ever won in Maryland (USA). The record for the largest jackpot prize in that state is $183 million dollars, won in 2003.

Sad Clown of the Week: Netherlands. The country's largest wooden clog, which is 4m in length and weighing almost 2 tons, disappeared without a trace (or should I say, leaving no foot steps!!!). The alleged theft of the clog is being investigated by the Dutch police...which confirms that Netherlands is a very calm and secure country, if the police force worries about the disappearance of a wooden clog. By the way, they should investigate Shaquille O'Neal (an ex-basketball player that wears size 23 (US) shoes).

The missing clog

Clever song lyrics: "Honesty is such a lonely word." - Song: Honesty - Artist: Billy Joel

Cheesy song lyrics: "Bitch niggaz (bitch niggaz)...Bitch niggaz (bitch niggaz)...Bitch-ass niggaz (beotch)..." Song: Bitch Ass Niggaz - Artist: Dr Dre (feat. Snoop Dogg, Hitman & Six-Two) (I can appreciate the fact that Dr Dre went out of his way to make a sharp difference between Bitch, Bitch-ass and beotch. As a true artist, Dr Dre didn't want us to confuse any of the three words. And now, the world is a better place).

Philosophical Quote of the week: "We lived on farms, then we lived in cities, and now we're going to live on the Internet!" Character: Sean Parker (played by Justin Timberlake) - Movie: The Social Network

God has a sense of humour...: Tim Tebow and the Denver Broncos won their Wild Card round game against the Pittsburgh Steelers.

But God has a plan: My beloved New England Patriots will eliminate Tim Tebow and the Denver Broncos tonight (Saturday night, January 14, 2012)...just kidding...He has nothing to do with the result of a football game.



Love letters, comments, opinions and complaints: reflectionsonamoderncircus@gmail.com

If you build it, they will come: looking back on 2011

"If you build it, he will come." - Shoeless Joe Jackson (played by Ray Liotta), Field of Dreams

Replace the "he" with "they". Well, I listened to the voice...and I built it.

I started to write this blog in August, 2011. I think I always wanted to write. I always had this urge to tell stories, whether they were written or verbal. However, the paths I have chosen in life led me to a day job that involves a lot of writing but very little story telling. I needed to do more.

Then, circumstances and people pointed at blogs. I was never attracted to them...but little I knew. This blog is everything I always felt like writing: making people think, making them smile and laugh (or at least, trying to), detecting political bullshit and, giving some sort of happy ending, even when it looks impossible.

At younger age, I was a radio host for a College radio. One thing that completely changed the way I approach life was "the weekly deadline", the sense of urgency to have the show ready on time. Well, I feel the same about this blog. And it's a nice source of motivation.

I built it...and they came. You came. And I thank you so much for that. But you came from where? Not much from my surroundings. You came from all around the world. To me, that is very impressive.

But you are coming from places I didn't even know existed: Isle of Man (between Ireland and England), Brunei (near Malaysia) and Guernsey (an island between England and France).

Another surprising fact: many of this blog's readers are from India and Russia. I don't know what to make of that. But I'm happy. Glod bless you all.

But enough about me. Besides the creation of this blog, what happenend in 2011? What have we learned?

Well, for starters, New York has opened, like many major cities, its first camping site. It's called Zuccotti Park. Food is available on site...but you gotta love it spicy (see pepper spray). And remember to bring your own porta potty.

Politics caught up with sports and got its own version of Tiger Woods: Anthony Weiner. However, Tiger never got out of the woods (no pun intended)...Weiner had to keep his wiener (ok...pun intended!!) in the packet.

A fruit painfully mourned its maker: Apple, Inc.

Like every year, we lose many loved ones. Some of them are famous. As for the others, their death made a little less of a splash. Let's remember the semi-splashes that had a special place in our hearts.

2011 will be remembered as the year Columbo died (see video):

2011 will also be remembered as the year Mr. Al Davis died (owner of the Oakland Raiders, NFL football). Controversial man. Leader of the Dark Side. The guy you love to hate. We'll miss you...just for not hearing you say "Just win, baby!!!" (see video):

And Macho Man Savage (see video):

And Actor (Police Academy) and American Football Star Bubba Smith (see video):

And an outrageous number of soldiers in Afghanistan and Iraq...in a pointless dragging war. God bless them all.

In the real estate department, God went for a bigger home...he moved from a Church to a Stadium (helping Tim Tebow and the Denver Broncos accomplishing miracles).

Black Friday is officially changing its name to: No Holds Barred - Kill of be killed - Bite, scratch, kick, dismember...and pepper spray.

Republicans told us all year how bad Barack Obama was as a President (and they did everything in their power to make him look bad every way they could) and are offering, as the alternative, a bunch of rich clowns (Dumb, Dumber, Dumbette, Dumbest and Dumbo...guess who Dumbo is!!), which are a gift to us bloggers but a nightmare for a country desperately in need of strong leadership. Ron Paul is probably the only serious and intelligent candidate...but is completely ignored (and considered crazy too).

A citizen of Zanesville, Ohio, opened a Safari Amusement Park in his city. The only problem was that it was out in the open and he didn't tell a soul before the grand opening. But it was a real success: 49 exotic animals were killed on the first day.

I still have no clue who is Snookie...except that she's loud, bitter, chunky and utterly insignificant. (and why should I care?). Which brings me to...

Kim Kardashian...*sight* (sticking a finger down my throat)...here's the second part of my reaction (see video):

The Kardashians are rumored to endorse fashion products manufactured in foreign sweatshops, where workers, some as young as 16 years old, are abused and virtually imprisoned. I have an idea. Maybe they should team up with Newt Gingrich in 2012 for a new Children Labour Program. Gingrich suggested that poor kids should work as janitors in schools. No kidding, the guy is suggesting it with a straight face!

Hey! Ain't nothing but a Circus. And that's why I enjoyed 2011. We are stuck with the clowns...might as well get a few laughs out of the situation.

2012 should be a hell of a ride too...with a great bang near the end of the year...and it won't be the Ball Drop in Central Park...but the end of the World on December 12.

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I would like to take this opportunity to wish you and your loved ones a Happy New Year. I Wish you all Peace, Love, Health, Happiness and Prosperity

I will post articles on December 31 (no rest for the wicked)...so stay tuned!!! It should be something special to start the New Year.

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THE HODGEPODGE

This week’s lucky number: The Clue. "Fall ______ times, stand up eight." - Japanese Proverb

Happy and Dandy Clown of the Week: Santa Claus. iTunes cards and apps make his bag lighter than in the past.

Sad Clown of the Week: Mrs Claus. She is not getting "any" while Santa Claus is too busy distributing gifts to all the children of the world.

Clever song lyrics: "Silent Night. Holy Night." - Song: Silent Night - Artist: Mahalia Jackson (Simply the best)

Cheesy song lyrics: "Ding dong, ding dong. Ding dong, ding dong." Song: Wonderful Christmas Time - Artist: Paul McCartney (That song is so annoying, it makes me feel like stabbing my eyes with plastic forks. Paul should have used a pseudo name for that one. John must be grinning in his grave every time that song plays).

Philosophical Quote of the week: (To go with your turkey dinner) "A census taker once tried to test me. I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti." Character: Dr. Hannibal Lecter(wonderfully played by Sir Anthony Hopkins) - Movie: Silence of the Lambs

Floyd Mayweather Jr. (boxer) sentenced to 90 days in jail after pleading guilty: Anything...just anything to avoid a fight with Manny Pacquiao. I spy a coward!!!

I told you so (last week): My beloved Patriots beat Tim Tebow and the Broncos. But most of all, it proves my theory: God doesn't give a rat's ass about football. It's only men playing a game (for big bucks).

 

Love letters, comments, opinions and complaints: reflectionsonamoderncircus@gmail.com

News headlines from the year 2061

I pride myself on not trying to be the first one to emit an opinion on a subject the moment a story comes out. I think it's the main problem with today's media: it's more important to be the first one to report the news than to be accurate. You report...then you correct it...but only if you really have to (for example, because an injunction was granted against you by the Court).

It's very unfortunate because being right was traded for being quick...The "winner", as if it was a race. And because perception is reality, inaccurate news could be perceived as the truth: "Ma! Mus' be true...they said it on the Teeee Veeeee." (with your best southern accent). In other words, the news, and the media itself, could become effective tools of propaganda when controlled by the got-an-agenda crowd (see Fox News).

I always try to do the contrary with this blog, which is to take the time to get all of the facts straight and then, take a step back to figure out all of the angles. Reflect before writing instead of writing and then makes excuses or use spin.

But humans have a tendency to contradict themselves, and I'm no exception. But I will try do it with creativity. Instead of reporting news too quickly, I will simply anticipate the news. And since my crystal ball is very powerful...

I chose to simply give random real news headlines from the year 2061...

"I've seen the future, and it is much like the present, only longer."
- Dan Quisenberry, former Kansas City Royals pitcher


News headlines from the year 2061

"Occupy Wall Street: to commemorate its 50th anniversary, a judge permits the construction of a condo tower at the Zuccotti Park encampment to accommodate the members of the OWS movement."

"The new iPhone 37 allows to download songs directly into the brain."

"Man dies of a brain hemorrhage after he accidentally downloaded the song "Da da da" (by Trio) directly in his brain, with his new iPhone 37. The defective phone repeated the song 2500 times. Then the brain gave in."

"English language falls to third place among the official languages in the USA, after Spanish and Arabic."

"Cricket finally becomes a popular sport in the USA after tweaking its rules: all players must be sprayed with gasoline and the ball is put on fire."

"Keith Richards is back from the dead. Crawling out of his grave, he declared to the press: "Maybe as a human being I looked like rubbish, mate, but as a zombie, I look great! Marvelous!"

Keith Richards

"The inventor of the teletransporter (or teleporter) was convicted murder in the first degree for using his wife as a guinea pig, while testing the apparel, and sending her straight to the sun."

"Brett Favre wants to come full circle: plans a comeback at 92 years old with the Green Bay Packers. “I wanna win a second Super Bowl before I die", he declared after losing his denture."

"A new Beatles song was found on a cassette hidden in Yoko Ono’s cellar. It was written by John while singing in the shower. The song is call "Rub-a-dub my love". Sean Ono said: "We didn’t have anything to play the cassette."

"The latest Friday the 13th, Part 27, hits the theatres this Friday. In Part 27, Jason finally gets into a long awaited combat with Darth Vader." (Rated S for stupid)

"Apple, Inc. buys the patent for the teletransporter: its inventor becomes the richest life sentenced inmate in history."

"Vermont finally declares its independence from the USA."

"Walmart now sells breast implants. All their "associates" are said to be qualified to install them."

"The Chicago Cubs lose the 7th game of the World Series. The Cubs have not won a championship in more than 153 years."

"Scientists finally find the preventive cure to cancer: don't eat processed food, exercise, don't smoke, don't drink too much, don't eat too much, have a healthy love and sexual life and...laugh a little."

"Teletransporter inventor escapes from prison by recreating its invention in his cell."

"Woman kills 20 shoppers with a light sabre in a local store during Black Friday."

"NCAA Football is starting to think about replacing the BCS with playoffs."

"Walmart recalls all breast implants sold for incompatibility with the iPhone 37: the breasts implants dance uncontrollably to songs playing on the iPhone."

"Reflections on a Modern Circus, universally known blog (yeah! right!), including Jupiter and Saturn colonists, celebrates its 50th anniversary. Its founder, Michael Bigras, was at the hospital during the celebrations after fracturing his hip while typing his last blog article. "

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THE HODGEPODGE

This week’s lucky number:  The Clue. A convenience store: _______ Eleven.

Happy and Dandy Clown of the Week: The planet discovered by NASA. NASA has discovered a planet that seems to have similar conditions to the earth: a temperature of 22°C (72°F) and also has water. Good thing for the planet: our earth is 600 light years away from it...so we can't visit it and mess it up (with good intentions of "helping", of course).

Sad Clown of the Week: Me. Herman Cain has put an end to his campaign! With Rick Perry's campaign going down the drain, I am losing two easy sources of inspiration for comedy and satire. But hey! On the bright side, they both have no chance of becoming the President of the USA in 2012.

Clever song lyrics: "Poets, priests and politicians. Have words to thank for their positions. Words that scream for your submission." - Song: De do do do, de da da da - Artist: The Police

Cheesy song lyrics: "Like gasoline you wanna pump me. And leave me when you get your fill, yeah." Song: Unskinny Bop - Artist: Poison

Philosophical Quote of the week: "You know when you hear girls say "Ah man, I was so shit-faced last night, I shouldn't have fucked that guy?" We could be that mistake!" Character: Seth (wonderfully played by Jonah Hill) - Movie: Superbad

Good slogan for Newt Gingrich’s campaign: “Occupy my ass!” (And there would be plenty of space to do so).


Love letters, comments, opinions and complaints: reflectionsonamoderncircus@gmail.com

Like falling dominoes

I don't know about you, but usually, when I hear a politician speak, I only hear this:

The only difference between the baby girl in the video and politicians is that the baby is funny (and the politicians are utterly boring). But the language is basically the same.

Being a politician has become mainly a poll job...ooops! That didn't sound right (even if there is some truth to it). Let me rephrase that. Being a politician has mainly become a job based on poll results. Boring, inefficient with enormous (negative) economic consequences. No discrimination here. Whatever is the political allegiance, it's all the same blah! blah! blah!.

Exceptionally this week, a quote burned my ears. For once, it was not blah! blah! blah! The quote came from Herman Cain, American businessman, syndicated columnist and a candidate for the Republican Presidential nomination in 2012. Cain candidly declared, word for word, during a television interview that "It's Your Own Fault if You Don't Have a Job! In other words: It's not the economy, stupid, it's YOU!"

I don't want to go in the specifics of that statement in this blog. It would be boring and I don't have another second to waste on that (insensible and ignorant) individual. Let's just say that I strongly disagree.

The question is: Can we really count on politicians to change the world? Our World. Can we count on them to make it better? Of course not. They make moves to please only some people (mostly those who contribute to their political campaigns).

Here's how I think people can change the world. Or maybe "should change the world" would be more accurate: Take ideas and act upon them (Can you hear politicians in the background ask "how do we do that, act? Can't we just talk about the ideas?).

Examples.

Back in 2006, an American teenage girl and her father, a journalist, were on spring break in Venice, Italy. While the daughter was on a shopping spree, the father headed back to the hotel room. He stumbled upon a BBC documentary on children of Africa dying of malaria. Make that 3,000 children per day (you read that right...per day!). It also mentioned that if the children would just sleep under a mosquito bed net, they would be almost entirely protected from malaria. That net only costs $10. Not that much to save one life. Nevertheless, those children died every day because they didn't have nets.

That man had an idea and acted upon it. On May 1, 2006, he wrote a column about it in a Sports Magazine you might have heard of before (Sports Illustrated). That man is Rick Reilly. That day, maybe without realizing it at the time, he changed the world. He also happened to save lives. Then there was some sort of chain reaction and the whole thing snowballed into a World Wide campaign. To make a long story short, NothingButNets.net has distributed almost 4.25 million mosquito bed nets. In other words, the charitable organization has raised almost $42.5 million for the cause.

Can you just imagine for a second a government trying to help African children dying of malaria? First there would be a study or commission or any other bullcrap meeting of politicians that would cost about 40 million dollars. The result of the study would be: Africa needs mosquito bed nets (what we already knew!!). The cost of the study would leave us with a tiny budget of $2.5 million to buy the nets. The government would send only 25,000 nets to Africa (because of the $2.25 million for the travelling expenses of the politicians sent in Africa to have pictures taken with dying African children and for the ads on tv to show the goddamn pictures).

More NothingButNets.net, less government. And what about examples that would help the economy? Or if you prefer, what about job creation?

Two high school outcasts that became college dropouts in the mid 70's. They identified the need to produce print-outs, labels and databases, in a world that was lead by typeriters. They combined genius with creativity in...a garage. And with the help of a $20 Central Processing Unit (CPU), produced by MOS Technology, they assembled their first personal computer. With the exception of the parents that lent the garage, and maybe the first store that sold their first product, not many believed in their bold project.

The company, as Forrest Gump would refer to it as "some kind of fruit company", is Apple Inc. The founders: Steve Wozniak and Steve Jobs. Yes jobs. Apple Inc. employs almost 50,000 persons. Real jobs from a real Jobs. Not bad for a fruit company.

Never underestimate the power of the geek or outcast with a dream, a goal...an obsession. He or she will not exclusively talk about the idea (remember politicians? blah! blah! blah!...shouting make believe numbers like an auctioneer). The geek will do something about it.

Invest in people, not in politicians (yes, you've read that right...politicians are excluded from the first group!).

I believe that ideas lead to other ideas, like falling dominoes. And if someone takes that idea and acts upon it, that idea could change the world. According to the the Chaos Theory, more precisely, the Butterfly Effect, the flap of a butterfly’s wings in Brazil could set off a tornado in Texas. In other words, a slight change in the conditions of a system could provoke a chain of events leading to out of proportions results.

Consequently, a reader of this modest blog could have an idea, act upon it, and maybe inspire other persons to have ideas on their own...and ultimately change the world. And I like to believe that this is the only efficient way that you and me can change the world. Like falling dominoes.   

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A big shoutout to Lana Leclerc for her work on the new graphics for this blog. Thanks for everything you've done and most of all, thank you for supporting this blog from the very beginning.

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This week’s lucky number: The clue…a movie directed by David Fincher starring Brad Pitt, Morgan Freeman and Kevin Spacey.

Note to self: Always check your pant's pockets for tissues before putting them in a washing machine.

Note to self #2: Sometimes patience is not a virtue...it is a waste of time.

Indirect way to disagree: “I’d agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.”

Mixing up numbers: “He had 3 children with 4 different women”.

Bad pick-up line: I think I've dated your mom. How is the ferocious cougar?

Bad name for a rock group in Milwaukee: Prince (Fielder) and The Devolution.

Love letters, comments, opinions and complaints: reflectionsonamoderncircus@gmail.com

A quick buck in a tiny little classified ad

The death of the co-founder chairman and CEO of Apple Inc., Steve Jobs, overshadowed the death of Don Lapre this week. And when we think about Steve Jobs, creative, innovative, bold, classy and intelligent immediately come to mind. Legacy, hard work and generosity are also words that transpired throughout Jobs' Apple Inc. epic business adventure.

And as if it wasn't enough, Lapre's death was overshadowed twice. I just learned, before posting this, that the renegade owner of the Oakland Raiders (NFL - American Football), Al Davis, just died at the age of 82.  "Just win, baby!" as Al would say with a big smirk across his face. He won three Superbowls as an owner. And when we think about Al Davis, besides determination and passion, craziness, lunacy, dementia and stubbornness come to mind.

But when I think about the young man (47 years old) that died during the last week, Don Lapre, only questions pop into my mind.

Remember this guy? (he appears at 0:04)

I remember those ads that were on most TV channels, after dark, during the small hours. There was him, Don Lapre, and Anthony Robbins, astrology and mind-reading ladies, and dating services (making people believe that the woman they were about to call was a young model...hungry for them!).

Don Lapre would stick it right down your throat for an hour or so...Tiny little Classified ads and 900 telephone numbers...How to make [quick] money.

Hugh Hefner, the founder of Playboy Magazine, since 1953, has tried to teach us what is the Playboy way of life. The women, the toys (boats, cars, etc.), where to hang out (the clubs, the restaurants, etc.) and how to act cool. But the only man in the world that had the time and the money to live the Playboy way of life was probably Hugh Hefner.

Well, you know what? Don Lapre was the only one making money with his method. He knew about a fourth way to make money. And it was the only one that would work, so he wouldn't tell you about it. And what was that miraculous money maker? Simple. Selling How to Make Money packages to people that had no life, stayed up late (I'm guilty of that one) and believed that they would meet a supermodel by calling a dating service (uh!...not guilty of that one though!).

Just imagine the poor guy with no job, no self esteem, no experience in business, placing tiny little ads in newspapers and not making a profit. Worse than that: losing money he doesn't have (because he borrowed it!!). Or, the poor guy signing a contract with a phone company for a 900 telephone number for a service that may or may not work, probably with an overhead that would eat the cash flow of his business in no time.

Don Lapre knew all about that. He had the key which was selling dreams to suckers. That could have been the title of the first part of his biography: Selling dreams to suckers.

But the second part of Don Lapre's biography would have to be different (probably Greed). You see, Don was getting greedy. Like the taste of blood to a rat, Don wanted more and more money. I guess suckers had a limited budget. And he had competition. On top of the other junk sellers on the infomercials, there was Who wants to be a millionaire?, American Idol and all the others TV shows, not only selling the American Dream, but also selling the Instant American Dream.  One day you work at MacDonald's, the next day you are recording artist and singing in front of sold-out venues around the world. From rags to riches, as Tony Bennett would sing.

So Don Lapre tried to penetrate a new lucrative market: vitamins. Nothing but the best for Don. He started to sell "The Greatest Vitamin in the World". Maybe it was. Nevertheless, the U.S. Food and Drug Administration strongly disagreed. There was a lot of investigation going on. To make a long story short, Lapre was accused of screwing roughly more that 200,000 people out of more than $52,000,000 with "The Greatest Vitamin in the World".

All in all, he was facing 41 counts of conspiracy, mail fraud, wire fraud, and promotional money laundering related to his e-commerce. He failed to appear in court to face those charges and was arrested on June 24, 2011. Before his arrest, he tried to commit suicide, but failed. However, two days before the beginning of his trial, scheduled to start October 4, 2011, it appears that he finally succeeded in ending his own life.

There is no surprise that the deaths of Steve Jobs and Al Davis completely overshadowed Don Lapre's death. The same thing will happen with their respective legacies.

Nonetheless, Lapre teached us two valuable lessons: There is no such a thing as an easy quick buck and greed is really one of the three Hell's Gates (the other two would be lust and anger). When it sounds too good to be true...it usually is!

And you know what's ironic about it? Don Lapre finished his days on earth in a tiny little ad...in the obituaries.

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New Character(s) brought to this Blog: None.

This week’s lucky number: sedem (in Slovak).

Note to self #1: Write on my Facebook page "I am writing on my Facebook page".

Note to self #2: Reply on my Facebook page "I am such a moron for writing on my Facebook page that I am writing on my Facebook page".

Note to self #3: Click on "like" button for both messages.

Quote of the week: "I never apologize. I’m sorry, but it's just the way I am." - Anonymous in denial

Funny sign: “Procrastinators will meet tomorrow”

Bad jokes when you are in presence of New York Yankees fans: “What is an ARod cocktail? An overpriced drink that expires before October.”

Bad pick-up line: You must be tired because you’ve been running through my head all night.

Bad name for a Republican rock group: The Non Runnin' Palins

Love letters, comments, opinions and complaints: reflectionsonamoderncircus@gmail.com