The Sequel - News headlines from the year 2012 - PART II

Back by popular demand: the second part of the News headlines from the year 2012!

Again, let's activate the magic and powerful crystal ball, and see what the near future holds for us (see the video)

And on we go with PART II of the predictions...July to December, 2012.

July

- July 1, Euro 2012 (soccer), Greece makes it to the final but they had to withdraw from the game because the country is so broke, they couldn't afford to provide the players with soccer shoes and uniforms.

- July 6, NBA basketball player Greg Oden (Portland Trail Blazers and former Ohio State University) wins the award for the oldest looking 24 year old man in the world. "On the bright side, I might be able to get an Applebees restaurants Senior Discount Card". His body must be as old as he looks: he hasn't been able to play a complete season yet.

Greg Oden

- July 28, London 2012 Olympic games: Dang Yun, an alleged Chinese female gymnast, is not human. Olympic Officials conducted the appropriate tests and found out that Dang Yun was a cat. "Meow!!" responded Dang Yun to her disqualification. (Just for the record, "meow" is not a Chinese word but kitty cat language).

August

- August 16, Stunner: Google buys Greece at a very low price. Spokesman for Google said: "We wanted to rename the country Google but we had some static from the European Union. Then we settled for writing Greece with the Google fonts". Google Greek headquarters will be located right in the Parthenon. The lobby shall be decorated with a giant harp, a spiral tube slide and robots from the 50's and 60's. The hallways will be full of unicycles (knowing how to ride unicycles is a prerequisite to work there), Pacman and Asteroids arcades.

- August 24, Cirque du Soleil launches a new show in Las Vegas called "Lindsay!". It's a musical and theatrical production. The storyline is the biography of Lindsay Lohan, but played by clowns. The lead character, Low Ann (a.k.a. Lindsay Lohan), is a clumsy clown that tries to survive in Hollywood but has a tendency mess everything up. The stage is a specially built circus ring at the Circus Circus Casino. Clowns of the show perform stunts like DUI's, car accidents, road rages, trying to sing without talent and escaping from rehab centers. Mickey the Goofball clown (a.k.a. Michael Lohan, Lindsay's father) steals the show.

- August 26, Women's Equality Day, George Carlin came back from the dead and makes an HBO Special including this (see the video...mostly for the bit starting 8:15):

September

- September 1, Microsoft buys Italy at a very low price. Italy was having major financial difficulties. Bill Gates declared: "Google has it's own country. We wanted ours." Rumours are that the country will be renamed to Finestre (Windows in Italian).

- September 3, Labour Day, children of the United States continue to go to school after US Congress officially cancelled Summer and blamed Barack Obama for the decision (see my article News headlines from the year 2012 - PART I, posted last January 7, 2012). "If there are any survivors to the end of the world, we are planning on cancelling Christmas. And if Barack Obama is re-elected, we'll blame him for the decision too" confirmed an anonymous US Congressman that started too laugh out loud, just like Vincent Price used to do (see the video).

- September 9, my beloved New England Patriots win their first game of the season...smells like a Super Bowl year!!!!

- September 15, NCAA Football - BCS Championship: the National Championship game will be exclusively for SEC teams. President of the BCS, Jim Norton, announced that the BCS Bowl will always have two opponents from the SEC conference. "There is no point in letting teams from the other 10 conferences and waste everybody's time. And, coincidentally, that will solve the playoffs non-sense controversy" said Norton. From 2006 to this day, the National Championship game was exclusively won by SEC schools: Florida (2006), Louisiana State University (2007), Florida (2008), Alabama (2009), Auburn (2010) and Alabama (2011).

October

- October 11, Apple, Inc. refuses to follow Google and Microsoft. "We won't buy a country. We will build our own country. It shall be called iLand", said CEO Tim Cook. However, it won't be possible to visualize iLand with Flash Player.

- October 31, Halloween night, Bill O'Reilly, host of The O'Reilly Factor, on Fox News channel, tried to disguise himself as Mickey Mouse, scared some children, forced them to take his book The O'Reilly Factor for Kids: A Survival Guide for America's Families (a real book...Google it!) instead of candy, scared them some more, screamed at them and called them socialists, communists and liberal pinheads. "Get me out of this straight jacket" O'Reilly scream as he was escorted by policemen to an undisclosed mental health facility.

Bill O'Reilly Mouse

November

- November 6, The United States presidential election of 2012: the results were so close between Mitt Romney and Barack Obama that the recount of the votes may last until the end of  times...which conveniently is next month.

- November 12, Bravo! channel announces that a new innovative reality show will air next season. The show will be called Roommates: Ex-wives and mistresses. Each ex-wife of the show will have to cohabit for a year with the mistress(es) of her husband. Sharp objects, baseball bats, gasoline and other possible weapons will be available to all the participants. Spoiler alert: one wife and a mistress become a lesbian couple.

December

- December 14, Glenn Beck declares: "I'm not worried about the end of the world. I've been preparing for this all my life. After the apocalypse, my ratings should remain just about the same. And am I glad I invested in gold, Goldline International and foodinsurance.com." (see the video)

- December 20, National Ski Areas Association (NSAA) is furious: the end of the world, scheduled to occur on the first day of winter, will be disastrous for the ski industry. "The government has to compensate us." Others, like Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve, Santa's Little Workshop and major alcoholic beverages companies have already requested government financial aid.

- December 21, D-DAY, the day the world ends...(see video)

- December 22, Walmart announces its first annual Post-End of The World Sale. Always the low price. Always. Almost a month after Black Friday, that new special shopping day shall be called Doomsday. The rules: there are only a few items for sale and people have to fight to grab them.

- December 31, Time Square, New Year's Eve: lowest attendance ever.

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THE HODGEPODGE

This week’s lucky number: The Clue. The starring number of the following video (from 0:21):

Happy and Dandy Clowns of the Week: A Pennsylvania couple. Last week, they claimed, at Maryland Lottery Headquarters, their $128.8 million dollars Powerball prize. They chose to remain anonymous (good for them!!!). It was the second-largest jackpot ever won in Maryland (USA). The record for the largest jackpot prize in that state is $183 million dollars, won in 2003.

Sad Clown of the Week: Netherlands. The country's largest wooden clog, which is 4m in length and weighing almost 2 tons, disappeared without a trace (or should I say, leaving no foot steps!!!). The alleged theft of the clog is being investigated by the Dutch police...which confirms that Netherlands is a very calm and secure country, if the police force worries about the disappearance of a wooden clog. By the way, they should investigate Shaquille O'Neal (an ex-basketball player that wears size 23 (US) shoes).

The missing clog

Clever song lyrics: "Honesty is such a lonely word." - Song: Honesty - Artist: Billy Joel

Cheesy song lyrics: "Bitch niggaz (bitch niggaz)...Bitch niggaz (bitch niggaz)...Bitch-ass niggaz (beotch)..." Song: Bitch Ass Niggaz - Artist: Dr Dre (feat. Snoop Dogg, Hitman & Six-Two) (I can appreciate the fact that Dr Dre went out of his way to make a sharp difference between Bitch, Bitch-ass and beotch. As a true artist, Dr Dre didn't want us to confuse any of the three words. And now, the world is a better place).

Philosophical Quote of the week: "We lived on farms, then we lived in cities, and now we're going to live on the Internet!" Character: Sean Parker (played by Justin Timberlake) - Movie: The Social Network

God has a sense of humour...: Tim Tebow and the Denver Broncos won their Wild Card round game against the Pittsburgh Steelers.

But God has a plan: My beloved New England Patriots will eliminate Tim Tebow and the Denver Broncos tonight (Saturday night, January 14, 2012)...just kidding...He has nothing to do with the result of a football game.



Love letters, comments, opinions and complaints: reflectionsonamoderncircus@gmail.com

News headlines from the year 2012 - PART I

Once again I will try to predict some of the news headlines in advance. This time, you will find out a little quicker if I'm right or wrong about them (as opposed to my article News headlines from the year 2061, posted last October 12, 2011).

People, I shall be right, since my crystal ball is very powerful...(see the video)

However, if by any chance I'm wrong, then you will feel right at home...as if you were watching the news on TV. As we all know, nowadays, it's more important to be the first one to report the news than to be accurate.

That said, on we go with PART I of the predictions...January to June, 2012

January

- January 8, Hugo Chavez, president of Venezuela, finally marries long time lover, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, president of Iran (see them holding hands at 0:20 of the video)

- January 15, Chad Johnson (American football player - N.E. Patriots), who previously changed his name to Chad Ochocinco ((translation: eight five), changes his name again, this time to Chad Viejo y Lento (translation: old and slow).

- January 23, E! channel, in association with the Kardashians, launch a new reality show: "Welcome to Dumpsville, population: Kris Humphries".

- January 24, Kim Kardashian, replaces Kris Humpries with her new ex-boyfriend in the reality show "Welcome to Dumpsville".

February

- February 5, Tim Tebow and the Denver Broncos win the Super Bowl...JUST KIDDING!!!...The Green Bay Packers will beat my beloved New England Patriots.

- February 12, new "Supreme" Leader of North Korea, Kim Jong-un declares "I am not fat, pudgy or chunky. As a matter of fact, I'm slender and sexy". The same day, the people of North Korea unanimously wore a "Slim and sexy Kim" t-shirt. However, a man was executed for wearing a t-shirt with the face Kim Jong-un on a body of Miss Piggy, while chanting "Hefty, chubby, tubby, baby, thicky, pudgy, chunky, baby" to the melody of the North Korean National Anthem. The man was known for his suicidal tendencies...

- February 19, I'm still in shock and denial that my beloved New England Patriots lost again the Super Bowl, as they did back in February, 2008, against New "Yuck" Midgets (a.k.a. Giants).

- February 20, Blackberry offers its customers a 50% reduction of their last monthly invoice for all the technical problems they suffered over the course of the last year. Nonetheless, 100% of the customers didn't get the offer because their Blackberry phone was malfunctioning.

March

- March 7, Barack Obama snaps and declares "It is time that I fight my enemies. I announce that I will fight my first enemy, Newt Gingrich, on November 5, 2012, as part of a UFC event. Newt, I'm tired of your bullshit. I will get medieval on your ass. Bring your ass to D.C. on November the 5th and we'll settle this no-holds-barred style." Here's the rest of the fight card:

• Keith Olbermann vs. Bill O'Reilly
• Jon Stewart vs. "Bow tie" Tucker Carlson
• Hillary Clinton vs. Sarah "we've got to stand with our North Korean allies" Palin
• Jennifer Ansiton vs. Angelina Jolie (finally!!!)
• Donald "birds live in my hair" Trump vs. Rosie O'Donnell

- March 26, George Clooney, single again, sadly says "I have no choice but to resort to opening an account on eHarmony.com. I need to fill the void left by the death of Max, my pet pig. More than ever, I need a Miss Piggy."

April

- April 1, April Fool's day, Bill O'Reilly, host of The O'Reilly Factor, on Fox News channel, makes the biggest prank in media history by reporting news based on actual facts (as opposed to propaganda or fear) on his show. An anonymous fan of the show said "I found the show so boring, I switched to CNN. Bill really got me. I'm glad it was only a practical joke."

- April 5, Paris Hilton announces two new products her collection: The Offical Gold Plated PH Back Stratcher and The Official PH Tampon, with Gold Plated and Diamond Encrusted Applicator.

- April 12, I feel anger because my beloved New England Patriots lost again the Super Bowl and I violently tackle a 75 years old woman that wears New "Yuck" Midgets (a.k.a. Giants) baseball cap and a Green Bay Packers t-shirt.

- April 13, I try to bargain my way out of jail with NYPD policemen.

May

- May 5, to celebrate Cinco de Mayo, Arizona police catapults illegal aliens from Mexico...back to Mexico. Arizona Governor Jan Brewer wished them Buen viaje as the illegal aliens were catapulted, with their furniture and personal belongings, over the Mexican-American border. "We just wanted to provide Mexicans with the opportunity to celebrate Cinco de Mayo in their country of origin, transportation free of charge. It's our way of saying we care", said Brewer.

- May 12, CNN's Anderson Cooper's shocking revelation: "I die my hair white. Otherwise, I would look like a schoolboy and have know credibility."

- May 27, Glenn Beck, 9 months after "leaving" Fox News, on his transition from television shows to subscription-based Internet TV network: "When it comes to ratings, I'd rather go for quality than quantity. Yes, I lost 90% of my audience, but I kept the cream of the crop. And I don't have to wear a suit anymore. A straight jacket will do." (flashback of Beck leaving Fox News...see the video)

June

- June 12, president of Family Radio, Harold Camping, the man who predicted the end of the world for May 21, 2011, declares "I know I was wrong for the May 21, 2011, end of the world. But you have to believe me this time. On December 21, 2012, the world will end. Approximately 3% of the world's population will be called to Heaven. The "Chosen Ones" shall be: any man named JIMMY, any woman named FLORETTE or PETRA, all Denver Broncos fans (including Tim Tebow), all people born on February 29, Brad Pitt (but not Angelina Jolie), people with twelve tows an/or twelve fingers, people that had tattoos made before 1991, Richard Simmons, Dalai Lama, Snookie, the dog in the Taco Bell commercials and me".

- June 13, Chad Johnson (a.k.a. Chad Ochocinco, a.k.a. Chad Viejo y Lento) (American football player N.E. Patriots), changes again his name, this time to JIMMY FLORETTE PETRA Viejo y Lento.

- June 21, US Congress officially cancels Summer and blames Barack Obama for the decision. Children will have to go to school until Labour Day and artificial snow will be spread all across the United States.

- June 27, I finally accept the fate of my beloved New England Patriots...as I watch that funny and cute squirrel water skiing. (see the video)

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THE HODGEPODGE

This week’s lucky number: The Clue. Today's date.

Happy and Dandy Clown of the Week: Elin Nordegren. The former wife of Tiger Woods has demolished the $12.3 million oceanfront mansion she purchased just last year. She's spending Tiger divorce money...good for her!!! I guess it's the Swedish way to say to Tiger "You messed with the wrong bitch!"

Sad Clown of the Week: A North Carolina (million dollar) man. A Walmart refused the money he handed out to pay for a vacuum cleaner, a microwave oven and other stuff. Why the money was refused? The man was trying to pay with a 1 million dollar bill (the $100 bill is the highest bill printed in the USA). He even insisted that the bill was real!!! A Walmart refusing "well earned" money? What's this world coming to?

Clever song lyrics: "Living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see." - Song: Strawberry Fields Forever - Artist: The Beatles.

Cheesy song lyrics: "And I wear my sunglasses at night. So I can, so I can. Forget my name while you collect your claim." Song: Sunglasses At Night - Artist: Corey Hart (Ok...Mr Hart, your transportation (an ambulance for the psychiatric hospital) is on its way).

Philosophical Quote of the week #1: "I'm Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, your senior drill instructor. From now on you will speak only when spoken to, and the first and the last word out of your filthy sewers will be "Sir". Do you maggots understand that?" Character: Gunnery Sergeant Hartman (played by R. Lee Ermey) - Movie: Full Metal Jacket

Philosophical Quote of the week #2: Women are made to be loved, not understood - Oscar Wilde




Love letters, comments, opinions and complaints: reflectionsonamoderncircus@gmail.com

Hypocrisy: the new glitter - A story about a stairway to hell

I'm as spiritual as they come. I try to live my life in a spiritual way, even if I'm not attached to any religion whatsoever (although I was baptised as a Catholic). That said, I respect people's faith. But I can't tolerate violence, abuse, hypocrisy or stupidity. Maybe I should be a little more tolerant. But I'm not. It leaves a very long way to go before perfection...a very very long way indeed.

Keeping that in mind, Pope Benedict XVI, during his Christmas Eve Mass, asked people to "see through the superficial glitter" of the season, and concentrate instead on the joy of the Christmas message.

When he mentioned glitter, did he mean this kind of glitter? (see the video):

Or how about the glitter of that conference room? (see the picture):

Or maybe he's referring to that kind of glitter (see the following pictures):

I didn't know gold was the true channel to God. To be frank, I thought that it was the total opposite. If you compare the Vatican with the way people portray Jesus according to the Bible, let's just say that the amount of "glitter" was quite different for both of them. I'd like to ask the Pope "Why so much gold and glitter? Aren't you afraid to get caught in all of this?. What about the wealth distribution? What about all the sharing you preach all the time? Why don't you sell a gold cross and give the money to a starving African village? Isn't that what you tell us to do?"

The thing is, it's easier to criticize others and to tell them what to do with their life. So the Pope may do whatever he wants. He may preach what he doesn't practice himself. He may speak in the name of God (lots of psychiatric patients do too...free speech!!). But sometimes he ought to shut the hell up (no pun intended)...just out of respect for all the Catholics that live in a spiritual way. If a little glitter makes them happy, so be it. People are intelligent enough to see that glitter is not a way of living (see the Vatican). They don't need a hypocrite pope to tell them what to do. Why does the Catholic Church always have to use culpability? Why does it always have to make people guilty and ashamed? The answer is obvious: to control people.

Fear and culpability...starting to sound like politics...

The more you feel guilty, the more you go to Church to make a confession. Then they try to make you believe that they have the power to forgive your sins (in the name of God, of course). And, forgiveness comes quite easier when you drop a few bucks in the basket (see the video):

I know it's raw. I know people might be offended by the George Carlin routine (message to them: grow up and/or grow a pair!!!). Most of it was created to shock. But a lot of what he says is true. Nevertheless, every time people are mad at God, I believe people are mad at Man's image of God. You know, the guy with a beard that will "strike upon thee". The Vengeful God. Well, something tells me that this Vengeful God was created by Man...in his own image. But that's just my opinion.

I think God or any Superior Being is far too complicated for a simple Man to understand. Religion was created by Man to tell other men his vision of God. Sometimes Man has a tendency to force its opinion upon others...to control them (can you hear politics again?).

By the way, I think the Pope already has a lot on his plate. He should take care of his own mess before telling anyone how to live his or her life. How about sexual abuse by Catholic priests (including child abuse). An exception? I don't think so. There were notable cases of sexual abuse by members of the Catholic Church, during the last 50-60 years, reported in countries like Argentina, Austria, Belgium, Brazil, Canada, Chile, Croatia, France, Germany, Great Britain, Ireland, Italy, Malta, Kenya, Mexico, Netherlands, New Zealand, Norway, Peru, Philippines, Poland, Slovenia, Sweden, Tanzania and the last, but not least, the United States of America. And, interesting fact, cases were reported in almost all of the said countries during the 2005-2011 period.

You want to talk about glitter? The Church spent hundreds of millions of dollars either defending itself in those cases and/or settling them. I bet if you transformed that sum of money into gold coins, you could see it glittering from the moon.

Pope Benedict XVI also called for an end to the bloodshed in Syria and the resumption of peace talks between Israel and the Palestinians in his Christmas message. Ok. And why not the end of hunger throughout the world? (just a bunch of blah! blah! blah! of no consequence). But why doesn't he ask his priests to quit the abuse and seek psychiatric help?

My message to Pope Benedict XVI, for the Holidays:  "See through your own superficial glitter, and concentrate instead on practicing what you preach." Clean your own house before telling people how to clean theirs. In other words, mind your own goddamn business.

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Again, I wish you and your loved ones a Happy New Year. I Wish you all Peace, Love, Health, Happiness and Prosperity

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THE HODGEPODGE

This week’s lucky number: The Clue. The date next Saturday will be January ___, 2012.

Happy and Dandy Clown of the Week: Drew Brees. The New Orleans quarterback (NFL American football) broke Dan Marino's passing yardage record for a single season with 5,087 yards passing....and still one game to play. That record was 27 years old. Sometimes nice guys finish first.

Sad Clown of the Week: People living in the Middle East. Can't believe people made comparisons with the Occupy Wall Street movement. Not in the same ball park. Not even the same sport. 2012 will be challenging for the people (not their respective governments) from countries like Syria, Egypt, Iraq, Yemen, Iran, Libya, etc. You are all in my prayers. May you finally get the country you wish for (and not the country USA wishes for you).

Clever song lyrics: "Maybe it's not too late to learn how to love and forget how to hate." - Song: Crazy - Artist: Ozzy Osbourne (...yeah! I know! He had his moments too!).

Cheesy song lyrics: "I don’t care who you are, where you’re from, what you did, as long as you love me." Song: As Long As You Love Me - Artist: Backstreet Boys (Ok. That sounds so nice and romantic on paper...but let's test how serious you really are about that bullshit statement...Would you sing the same lyrics if the girl from the song was a crack whore with a history of violence that offered her services for $10 and that spent most of her life in prison for fraud, extortion and human organ traffic? Just don't fall asleep on her watch, buddy...).

Philosophical Quote of the week: "You want a prediction about the weather, you're asking the wrong Phil. I'll give you a winter prediction: It's gonna be cold, it's gonna be grey, and it's gonna last you for the rest of your life." Character: Phil (wonderfully played by Bill Murray) - Movie: Groundhog Day

I told you so (last week and the week before): Tim Tebow and the Broncos lost two games in a row. It proves, again, my theory: God doesn't give a rat's ass about football. It's only men playing a game (for big bucks).



Love letters, comments, opinions and complaints: reflectionsonamoderncircus@gmail.com

If you build it, they will come: looking back on 2011

"If you build it, he will come." - Shoeless Joe Jackson (played by Ray Liotta), Field of Dreams

Replace the "he" with "they". Well, I listened to the voice...and I built it.

I started to write this blog in August, 2011. I think I always wanted to write. I always had this urge to tell stories, whether they were written or verbal. However, the paths I have chosen in life led me to a day job that involves a lot of writing but very little story telling. I needed to do more.

Then, circumstances and people pointed at blogs. I was never attracted to them...but little I knew. This blog is everything I always felt like writing: making people think, making them smile and laugh (or at least, trying to), detecting political bullshit and, giving some sort of happy ending, even when it looks impossible.

At younger age, I was a radio host for a College radio. One thing that completely changed the way I approach life was "the weekly deadline", the sense of urgency to have the show ready on time. Well, I feel the same about this blog. And it's a nice source of motivation.

I built it...and they came. You came. And I thank you so much for that. But you came from where? Not much from my surroundings. You came from all around the world. To me, that is very impressive.

But you are coming from places I didn't even know existed: Isle of Man (between Ireland and England), Brunei (near Malaysia) and Guernsey (an island between England and France).

Another surprising fact: many of this blog's readers are from India and Russia. I don't know what to make of that. But I'm happy. Glod bless you all.

But enough about me. Besides the creation of this blog, what happenend in 2011? What have we learned?

Well, for starters, New York has opened, like many major cities, its first camping site. It's called Zuccotti Park. Food is available on site...but you gotta love it spicy (see pepper spray). And remember to bring your own porta potty.

Politics caught up with sports and got its own version of Tiger Woods: Anthony Weiner. However, Tiger never got out of the woods (no pun intended)...Weiner had to keep his wiener (ok...pun intended!!) in the packet.

A fruit painfully mourned its maker: Apple, Inc.

Like every year, we lose many loved ones. Some of them are famous. As for the others, their death made a little less of a splash. Let's remember the semi-splashes that had a special place in our hearts.

2011 will be remembered as the year Columbo died (see video):

2011 will also be remembered as the year Mr. Al Davis died (owner of the Oakland Raiders, NFL football). Controversial man. Leader of the Dark Side. The guy you love to hate. We'll miss you...just for not hearing you say "Just win, baby!!!" (see video):

And Macho Man Savage (see video):

And Actor (Police Academy) and American Football Star Bubba Smith (see video):

And an outrageous number of soldiers in Afghanistan and Iraq...in a pointless dragging war. God bless them all.

In the real estate department, God went for a bigger home...he moved from a Church to a Stadium (helping Tim Tebow and the Denver Broncos accomplishing miracles).

Black Friday is officially changing its name to: No Holds Barred - Kill of be killed - Bite, scratch, kick, dismember...and pepper spray.

Republicans told us all year how bad Barack Obama was as a President (and they did everything in their power to make him look bad every way they could) and are offering, as the alternative, a bunch of rich clowns (Dumb, Dumber, Dumbette, Dumbest and Dumbo...guess who Dumbo is!!), which are a gift to us bloggers but a nightmare for a country desperately in need of strong leadership. Ron Paul is probably the only serious and intelligent candidate...but is completely ignored (and considered crazy too).

A citizen of Zanesville, Ohio, opened a Safari Amusement Park in his city. The only problem was that it was out in the open and he didn't tell a soul before the grand opening. But it was a real success: 49 exotic animals were killed on the first day.

I still have no clue who is Snookie...except that she's loud, bitter, chunky and utterly insignificant. (and why should I care?). Which brings me to...

Kim Kardashian...*sight* (sticking a finger down my throat)...here's the second part of my reaction (see video):

The Kardashians are rumored to endorse fashion products manufactured in foreign sweatshops, where workers, some as young as 16 years old, are abused and virtually imprisoned. I have an idea. Maybe they should team up with Newt Gingrich in 2012 for a new Children Labour Program. Gingrich suggested that poor kids should work as janitors in schools. No kidding, the guy is suggesting it with a straight face!

Hey! Ain't nothing but a Circus. And that's why I enjoyed 2011. We are stuck with the clowns...might as well get a few laughs out of the situation.

2012 should be a hell of a ride too...with a great bang near the end of the year...and it won't be the Ball Drop in Central Park...but the end of the World on December 12.

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I would like to take this opportunity to wish you and your loved ones a Happy New Year. I Wish you all Peace, Love, Health, Happiness and Prosperity

I will post articles on December 31 (no rest for the wicked)...so stay tuned!!! It should be something special to start the New Year.

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THE HODGEPODGE

This week’s lucky number: The Clue. "Fall ______ times, stand up eight." - Japanese Proverb

Happy and Dandy Clown of the Week: Santa Claus. iTunes cards and apps make his bag lighter than in the past.

Sad Clown of the Week: Mrs Claus. She is not getting "any" while Santa Claus is too busy distributing gifts to all the children of the world.

Clever song lyrics: "Silent Night. Holy Night." - Song: Silent Night - Artist: Mahalia Jackson (Simply the best)

Cheesy song lyrics: "Ding dong, ding dong. Ding dong, ding dong." Song: Wonderful Christmas Time - Artist: Paul McCartney (That song is so annoying, it makes me feel like stabbing my eyes with plastic forks. Paul should have used a pseudo name for that one. John must be grinning in his grave every time that song plays).

Philosophical Quote of the week: (To go with your turkey dinner) "A census taker once tried to test me. I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti." Character: Dr. Hannibal Lecter(wonderfully played by Sir Anthony Hopkins) - Movie: Silence of the Lambs

Floyd Mayweather Jr. (boxer) sentenced to 90 days in jail after pleading guilty: Anything...just anything to avoid a fight with Manny Pacquiao. I spy a coward!!!

I told you so (last week): My beloved Patriots beat Tim Tebow and the Broncos. But most of all, it proves my theory: God doesn't give a rat's ass about football. It's only men playing a game (for big bucks).

 

Love letters, comments, opinions and complaints: reflectionsonamoderncircus@gmail.com

The “ends” of the world

As we witness the sad images of violence from the suburbs of London, it’s easy to ask ourselves a few questions: has the whole world gone completely crazy? Is it the end of the world?

Add to that the never ending wars in Iraq, Afghanistan, Palestine, Libya, Syria, Côte d’Ivoire, Darfur, etc. Even insignificant events turn sour in an instant…Like the riots in Vancouver after a Stanley Cup loss in the Finals. Or even worse: when they reintroduced the blue colored Smarties in May 2010, as we all remember. One must wonder if the Apocalypse is knocking at the door. We can already see The Nutcases salivating…Unfortunately, The Nutcase will be a recurring character in our silly blog.

Yes. Maybe we are crazy. As a matter of fact, we are quite sure we are. But we don’t think we are worse than the world was at other times in history. The media surely wants us to believe that every day. According to The Drama Queen Media (from now on, we will refer to the media as The Drama Queen Media), the world is on the verge of collapsing. For some crazy unknown reason, it seems we consume more when we are scared. As a result, we live in a culture of fear. No wonder terrorism is on the rise.

But for fun, just imagine how The Drama Queen Media would be covering the Crusades? Or the Spanish Inquisition? Or the French Revolution? Or the Crucifixion of Jesus? How about The Drama Queen Media covering a reality show of Cro-magnon men. All of them groaning and hitting themselves on the head with sticks every time they would disagree. Hilarious! Actually, they would not be able to air that today, you know, to maintain social order. Otherwise, people might think it’s a better (and cheaper) idea to hit their “ex” with a stick instead of hiring an expensive lawyer. I have to admit, it’s very tempting…

Violence is not only part of the history of the world, but it most certainly shaped it. People were killed for not believing in the same God, for believing that the world is round, for having epilepsy, etc. The world, sadly, has a history of violence. It looks like a big wheel that increases from level 1 to 10, turning round and round, clockwise, marking time.

Lately, we have only refined our reasons for killing. Nowadays, we read about killing the significant other for leaving (sometimes along with the children), stabbing a soccer referee for missing a call, shooting boss after a layoff, or murdering female students…simply for being women. Are we near level 10? Well, that would be like saying that World Wars I and II were level 5-6? Our humble opinion is that Holocaust has to be a solid 10. On the other hand, The Drama Queen Media would say that every day is a solid 10 on the nightly news.

So if you ever feel the urge to kick a guy’s family jewels for saying “at least you have your health”, or to puncture your bosses’ lungs with a crowbar, or to smash your 1999 Chrysler Cirrus in a government agency entrance, c’mon dude, be original!!! That’s nothing that hasn’t been done already during Medieval times (except maybe for the Chrysler thing).

But if you want to do something that hasn’t been done before (you know, because what we’ve tried yet as not worked): try to change your own small world. If everybody did that, we are optimistic that the world would change faster and more efficiently than whatever we are doing now.

On another note, we surely hope Mother Nature will read our modest blog (In our dreams…Yeah! Right! like she cares!). Mother Nature scares us way more than violence itself. We would like to bet that she is actually doing tests to wipe us off of this rock (See Japan, Haïti, Chile, Australia, New Zealand, etc.). Maybe she’ll come up with a bullet-proof-Ebola-like virus or a mega worldwide Tsunami (if you don’t swim, that might be a good time to learn).

In the meantime, The Nutcases around the world will have something to look for: the end of the world in 2012. I have to specify the year because we just “had” one this year, in May.

2012 is just another scare…or is it?

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New Character(s) brought to this Blog: The Drama Queen Media (played any and all media) and The Nutcase(s) (played by your average local moron, screw loose, loser, goofball, dunce, loony, idiot, insane, screwball, round the bend, nut job and/or politician).

This week’s lucky number (we know it’s stupid...but please, just play along!): 7

Personal message: To the guy that keeps honking every time he picks up someone for carpooling very early in the morning: “Get off your fat ass, you lazy douche bag, and knock on the person’s door”.

Quote of the week: “A day without sunshine is like, you know, night” – Anonymous (stoner).

To do: say something kind to someone you really don’t know.

Bad choice of a rock band name: London Riots

Love letters, comments, opinions and complaints: reflectionsonamoderncircus@gmail.com