Saturday, September 17, 2011


This morning, I was eating my All-Bran Flakes while reading the Nutrition Facts (110 calories per cup, but 160 calories with ½ cup of 1% milk!!).  And I was wondering: what if they made a reality show about me.  Just imagine: brushing my teeth, taking a shower, eating the All-Brans, drinking the juice, cleaning the dishes, writing my blog (for an hour at least!!), going to the supermarket, emptying the bags at home (wondering where I put the strawberry jam), looking for the strawberry jam, desperately looking for the strawberry jam in the car, mentally blaming the kid working at the supermarket for losing the strawberry jam, watching college football on television, dosing off while the game gets interesting, etc.

One word: exciting.  I’m sure one would pay good money to watch an hour of that, right?

No wonder reality shows are scripted (SPOILER ALLERT!!).  Otherwise, why would anybody watch them.  Let’s face it.  Our lives are watch on tv.

Message to friends: It applies also to telling the world on Facebook that you are washing your underwear or on Twitter that you just folded the said underwear.  Is that a way to say that we would like to be stars of a show too?  Maybe.  Nevertheless, I don’t believe that we would like our lives to become public either.  Celebrity is overrated because there is no switch “off” to it.  For better or for worse.

So who or what do we have to be to get on a reality show?  A washed up rock star?  An ex-stripper or barfly, finding a way to get attention?  A “Snookie”?

Beautiful or good looking?  Probably.  Either that or mean and hateable (the Dallas’ J.R. factor).  Talented?  Absolutely not! (See Paris Hilton, The Kardashians, Flavor Flav, etc.).

But I feel that a new trend of reality tv has already begun.  You know, the kind you get sucked in, without consent.  The Drama Queen Media loves that.

For example, the Anthony Weiner scandal.  Remember him?  He gets caught sending pictures of his crotch to a college student in Seattle (and many other women), via his Twitter account.  Then he lied his way to complete humiliation, namely by saying his account was hacked.  He called numerous press conferences and interviews to push the lies even further.  Then another woman came forward with a shirtless picture of Weiner that was sent to her.  Finally, he admitted sending the pictures, but refused to resign.

All of this while he was married for less than a year, to Mrs. Huma Abedin, an aide to Secretary of State Hillary Clinton (a woman that should understand her, by experience).  Oh! Yes!  By the way, at the time of the scandal, his wife was pregnant.  If that was a movie, critics would say that the scenario is absolutely non credible and too farfetched.  When reality surpasses fiction...

But there is more to it.  Weiner got caught sending pictures of his wiener!  How more Hollywood can this get?

Grande finale: he resigns.  And, as he announces it, if you listen closely, you can hear people cheering in the background (around 0:18 seconds).  You gotta be kidding me?

Hitting a man that is already down?  What Anthony Weiner has done is utterly stupid.  It’s immoral.  But, it’s none of our business.  It must have been humiliating for his wife.  But us?  Who are we to judge what he’s done?  He didn’t commit any fraud.  He didn’t steal money from people.  He didn’t kill or injured anyone.  He’s just an adult male, that replaced his brain with a sexual organ (happens frequently and daily), and that acted like a total bonehead.  He’s guilty of covering up, of lying.  But lately, denying and lying “seems” like a natural human reflex (See Roger Clemens, Barry Bonds, Rafael Paleiro, Bill Clinton, etc.).

But among the people that judged Weiner, I can’t believe that none of them acted like boneheads.  If we follow the rule established by the late George Carlin: “There’s a few winners...and a whole lotta losers”.  The only difference between Weiner’s wiener and mine is that very few care about mine.  But let’s not kid ourselves.  Weiner never invented sending explicit pictures to other people…not even among married men.

Truth is we laugh at the guy that slipped on a banana peel.  That’s all.  We watch reality TV to see people mess up, argue, fight and feel miserable.  The modern way of feeling better: seeing other people fall...or fail (instead of changing our ways).

Here you go.  “Knock yourselves out”, no pun intended:

Reality TV” is living vicariously.  Not really living.  You sit and watch others live in an aquarium...with a certainty that you would do better.  Just not now.  You are too busy watching.

New Character(s) brought to this Blog: none.
This week’s lucky number: (11,087 + 78) /1,595 =  (yes…again!).
Personal message: To a telemarketer calling me on the phone (me speaking): “I’m sorry, I cannot help you.  I will have to transfer you to my financial department”.
Quote of the week: It’s only funny until someone gets hurt...then it gets freakin’ hilarious” – Anonymous reality tv watcher.
To do: laugh (and to be able to laugh at myself).
Bad jokes when you are at the customs: “Do I carry any weapons?  No, just drugs.”
Take the money and run: Serena Williams got a $2,000 fine for her verbal abuse of an umpire, namely telling her she was “unattractive inside”, during last Sunday's U.S. Open final.  Tennis officials ruled that was not a major offense.  Williams earned $1.4 million at the U.S. Open.  Let’s take out our calculator...the fine represents 0.14% of her earnings.  For ordinary workers, that fine would be the equivalent of a few bucks.
Bad name for a cruise ship: The Bachmann (runner-up: The Gingrich).
Love letters, comments, opinions and complaints:


  1. All to true. We are all guilty of some mistakes in judgement, little things that could become big hugely embarrassing things if they became public. I think what makes us different is that although we are all the same, some of us, are in the public eye on one level or another. As such, we need to be a little more careful about the things we do, even in private. If a person is in the public eye, they need to know that sometimes that public eye gets into their private life too. And of course there is such irony in life, weiner and his weiner, what could be more appropriate and newsworthy?Beats watching stories about earthquakes I guess....

  2. I already answered your comments with an e-mail message...but just for the record:

    @Rob Dares: Thank you for taking the time to send me your comments. Glad you enjoyed the article. Please keep coming to visit.

  3. Although you are right that watching reality tv is living vicariously, but what is wrong with that? Like you say...celebrity is overrated, but why not get a taste of it vicariously. I love to imagine what it must be like to live a life under a microscope. And then I wonder - after wondering what it must be like - why someone would willingly choose to do so? That is what is interesting about reality tv. The people these shows showcase WILLINGLY CHOSE to be watched. They are interesting for that reason. They are willing to put themselves out there and we get the benefit of living vicariously through them. I have no problem with a boring personal life. I pray for it everyday.... But sometimes - I want to understand the other side...the one's that need the excitement - and gets it.
    As far as being scripted, many of them are, but you cannot script emotions. These are not actors and most of us would be able to detect bullshit emotions. That is what I look for when watching reality tv. I also love the playback - the looking in the mirror part. This is also something to learn from, as we all have to imagine what it would be like to watch our behavior from the outside - would we like what we see?
    As you can tell- I am a reality tv junkie!

  4. I have just downloaded iStripper, so I can watch the sexiest virtual strippers on my desktop.